do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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