Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
pray to the hookup gods
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
