Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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