I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
