Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
