Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
