Pappa wants mamma naked
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
