im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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