you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
