Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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