I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
