You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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