i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
