I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
