yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
