what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
