Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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