He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
