do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
They have beer where we have blood.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
