Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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