Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
