is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
