Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
