Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
