her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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