I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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