Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
