Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
