The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
