I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
