i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
