By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
