Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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