Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize