can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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