i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
