Plan B is the new Plan A
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
