hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My life is pants optional.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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