I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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