Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
