it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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