stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
