everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You pole danced in your parka.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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