In the future we'll all be gay
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
