I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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