apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
