Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
All I want is dick and wine.
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