absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
