hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
