Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
