Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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