my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
