Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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