What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
