he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
