Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
