She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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